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There are several questions here ... I have provided the
background AFTER the questions I have asked ...
1) In an ongoing divorce, given the existence of an agreement
in place about items that belonged to each party, is it not
contempt to violate that order? My STBX did.
2) My STBX stole privileged correspondence between my attorney
and I and we have just determined that they are using it in
exhibits for an upcoming hearing - my attorney had warned
her attorney about this many, many times - they ignored
all this - In a divorce, is it still not the case that
each party SHALL NOT look at each other's files? particularly
ones from the attorney? (My attorney is aware of all this)
3) Stealing of personal, confidential correspondence between me
and my friends, family - Can she use such information? I do not
think so - (What are the rules in Arizona?)
4) She stole my son's personal diary and is using information
from that (He is now 19) (he hated her, he hates her - so what?)
------------- background --------------------------------------------
I live in Alabama, my wife initiated divorce in Arizona.
We have a 2 year old (divorce initiated when the child was
1.5 years old, not nursing anymore). We were married for
2.5 years (from marriage to date of filing). She is from
Alabama - moved to Phoenix, Arizona - got married in Phoenix -
had two children - got divorced - lost custody of her two
children - had supervised visitation - went through several
attorneys - all sorts of things. She left Arizona - moved to
California with a boyfriend - she was asked to leave - she moved
to Alabama where I met her - and in three months after we met,
we married (yes, I know, what an idiot I was)
I was married previously for 17 years - my wife died suddenly
of a stroke - I have a son from that marriage who is now a
sophomore in college. I have a stable job, excellent personal
and professional credentials (I know, I am saying it - but so will
many!) ...
We had a return hearing where we set the date for a temporary
orders hearing. Before the temporary orders hearing, my STBX
and I came to an agreement. As we left the donut shop where we
had talked and come to an agreement, she asked me if I would
testify against her ex-husband and FOR her in an emergency
court hearing her ex- had secured (about the custody/visitation
arrangements of their son) - I asked her "What? You filed for
divorce from me, kept my daughter away from me and now want me to
testify FOR you?" - I said "No" - she said "then we do not have
an agreement" - walked away. I called my attorney, he said fine -
will prepare for court tomorrow. He called me back and told me
that HER attorney had called and said that "you two had an
agreement" - I said "OK" - whatever. emails went back/forth -
my attorney faxed a letter to her attorney with the details of
the agreement, he faxed a letter back stating it was OK - except
will I agree to a few more items - I said fine, sure - I signed off
- My attorney called her attorney, both got on the phone and
vacated the hearing. My STBX was fine for that day, next day - and
the day before I was scheduled to take off with my daughter back
to Alabama, she unilaterally pulled out of the agreement saying that
there was language that she did not agree with (remember, HER attorney
wrote all this) - my attorney told me to take off on the first
flight - I did - she harassed me even as I got off the plane,
told me I had committed a felony, was going to call the police
etc etc - I told her - "fine, do it" - she kept this up for a week,
it stopped the next week - I took my daughter back after the scheduled
visitation - she had the next three weeks (or so) - I went back to get
my daughter for second visitation - she tricked me into coming to a
McDonald's - had two men stop me from stopping her as she grabbed
our daughter from me and ran away - we filed an emergency petition
and the judge decided to hear it later - the trial scheduled for
july was postponed and converted to a temporary orders hearing -
all of the issues were revisited - she kept claiming that the
child was too sick to travel, needed therapy and such ... the judge
would not hear about it - we worked out an agreement - temporary
child support/maintenance, child visitation with me (out of state)
- I was to follow whatever the therapy providers in Arizona were
doing - I did - I also had Alabama providers evaluate the child -
they found child appropriate for age (did not qualify for any
state supported therapy) - the child was evaluated again by
experts - same conclusion - yet she continues to insist that the
child is delayed/developmentally disabled/needs all sorts of
therapy etc etc - (she is doing this so she would not have
to go to work to pay her ex- almost $50,000 and so she can demand
from me money for the child - We are in the middle of a custody
evaluation - he is looking at all records)
she continued to harass me about seeing the child on videocam,
talking to the child - problem was that she became angry when
I would not talk to her - she even told me to get my ugly face
out of the videocam since "I broke up the family" (she filed,
she had lost custody etc...) - I provided access to the child
but refused to talk to her since she was continually abusing me -
verbally -
recently - just prior to my returning the child to her, she came
to my house in Alabama - took most of my furniture, communication
between my attorney and I, communication between her first ex-
and I, medical records of my child, my US passport - left the house
in a mess - and continued to pretend everything was normal - even
talked about reconciling - I have filed a police report - but they
do not seem to want to issue an arrest warrant even though we had
an agreement that her things were to be returned to her at a
mutually agreeable time - she broke in again a second time when
I was in phoenix - this time broke into my home PC - stole passwords,
instant message transcripts and submitted a whole bunch of information
to the court complaining I called her names and such -
Oh, I bought a house in AZ for her, she signed a disclaimer
deed, I waived that - I finally sold the house, gave her
half the proceeds, I had paid for that house since May 2002 -
all so she could visit with her childen - I paid for her
attorney so he could reopen her previous case - I paid
HER child support one day to bail her out of jail, I also bailed
her out of jail for a bad check warrant - I sent her $3000 to move
away - she used it for her new attorney (fired the old one) -
she has saddled me with close to $50,000 in credit card debt that
I have been paying since she filed ...
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