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I need some feedback (I do have an attorney, yet any help from here
will help)
I was forced to litigate a divorce in the State of Arizona (Maricopa
County, Phoenix) - the final decree was issued March 2005 - We had a
daughter and I have primary physical custody (my ex is supposed to
travel back/forth from Alabama to have her two week visitation, per
current court order - that she attempts to change, but has been unable
to do so, so far)
The custody evaluation was in Phoenix - my ex had gone through another
divorce in the same county (same building) - that started in 1998 and
she lost custody of two of her children in that divorce - but she
continues to drag her first ex to court to change visitation, custody
(She had supervised visitation when we married, I helped her change all
that - hired an attorney, she used my good position in the community,
job, ability to support her/her kids all as a way to change the
custody/visitation arrangements with her first ex - after they came to
an agreement, she filed for divorce from me - long story, will not go
into that here, not relevant for now)
We had our custody evaluation - psychological testing and all that - in
the final report, the evaluator recommended that I be the primary
parent, the child is better off with me and that she had a personality
disorder. The Judge noted all this while observing my ex's behavior in
court - did award me primary physical custody - but not sole custody,
we have joint legal custody. My ex continues to file motions, create
crises - there was an emergency petition claiming I interfered with
visitation and such (The Judge denied her request for change in
custody, agreed that I was not in violation of any court order) - my ex
created another crisis for the next visitation - I compromised again -
My ex had taken up with a roommate (he was not in the picture during
the trial, he was a roommate first, then fiancee - and recently they
had a fight - and he is now the devil himself) ... She had wanted this
roommate to pick up our daughter in Alabama - we objected, the Judge
agreed - my ex and her attorney spoke highly of this man and now he is
not even in the picture ... stuff happens with my ex with breathtaking
speed
Anyway - now that I have described briefly the background - I have the
following questions
1) Jurisdictional - There is an advantage to keeping the case in
Phoenix - the system knows her - yet, I have been brought to the brink
of financial ruin since I had to fight the divorce long distance and
pay attorney fees, transportation costs and on and on ...BUT - I do
have primary physical custody of our daughter AND that happened IN
PHOENIX - AND Alabama is more conservative than Arizona/Phoenix - so
the system may be more sympathetic (right?) - Question is - Will
Judges, the system allow such jurisdictional changes? I live in
Alabama - I am providing a stable home for the child - I am gainfully
employed (she owes her first ex- thousands of dollars in back child
support - refuses to work - is highly unstable in personal
relationships and on and on) ... Why not move it to my home state? Why
will the system/Judges not allow it?
2) Has anyone done this? What does it take to move jurisdiction?
(There is something about a 6 month rule??)
3) Is it better to leave it in Phoenix? I am looking ahead as the
child starts school - no sense in having the child travel back/forth -
the child is 3 now, so there is time - yet - why not do it now?? Her
behavior continues to show the instability that was mentioned in court
by the evaluator - there is no doubt (in my mind) that our daughter and
the other children are better off with me (and their father) - Will
anyone listen? (I am sure she will pick someone up again quickly and
he will be her next savior - she has shown this instability - yet the
courts have not cared that much)
All I want is the time, stability to provide for the 3 year old as she
grows - without dragging the issue of custody/visitation back to court
every so often - I know she will try - and I will be ready - I have not
done anything to give her any reason for the courts to change the
existing custody/visitation arrangments - So - Should I seek a change?
Will that be allowed?
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We had our custody evaluation - psychological testing and all that - in
the final report, the evaluator recommended that I be the primary
parent, the child is better off with me and that she had a personality
disorder. The Judge noted all this while observing my ex's behavior in
court - did award me primary physical custody - but not sole custody,
we have joint legal custody. My ex continues to file motions, create
I have been brought to the brink
of financial ruin since I had to fight the divorce long distance and
pay attorney fees, transportation costs and on and on
I have the impression the system is not working very well here. Obviously,
the court thinks it is in the child's best interests to be with you, not
your ex. But, because of her legal challenges, you say you are headed toward
financial ruin. If in fact you are eventually ruined and unable to provide
for the child, what will the court then believe to be in the child's best
interests? Will the court at that point award custody back to your ex? Will
switching be in the child's best interests? If you recover from financial
disaster and are once again able to support the child, will the court then
award custody back to you a second time? And if so, will legal challenges
resume, resulting in a second financial ruin? The system is not working!
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