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Hello,
First of all, thank you for any advice anyone may help provide. I
am speaking on behalf of my good friend and am trying to point her in
a good direction to empower herself against an extremely uncooperative
ex-husband who will stop at nothing to drive her to maddness.
First off, this single mother provides a home to her children of five
and legally the ex-husband fathered the non-biological first child
since birth and the second and third children were biologically his.
I am the roommate and friend to the mother and I try to help her out
as it is very overwhelming for her to handle everything herself.
The ex-husband and my roommate had an unhappy marriage and after a
legal battle of which was initiated by the husband, the lawyer for
mother nailed the husband to the wall legally and he had to not only
pay child support, but backpayments. He now pays around $6,000 per
year in child support for his two boys that are legally his.
The daughter, or oldest of the children that was not biologically the
ex-husband's child was raised until the age of 15 with him on the
weekends and the mother on the weekdays (the same as the other
children). However, due to a recent fiasco involving headlice and
arguments on both parties, the daughter chose to live with her mother
throughout the entire week now and does not live with her step-father
of whom she is afraid of. The daughter is an amazing girl, a great
student, honest and helpful in everyway and totally an amazing person
all in all.
The ex-husband has recently sent papers to the mother for another
round in court. He believes that she and (myself) are drug users,
that we are abusive to the children, and that basically concocted a
series of lies and half truths to gain full custody of his two boys
and have the mother pay child support.
In my entire experience with this man (ex-husband), I have found that
he will not communicate with me about the children, nor will he assist
the mother or me to resolve any problems in any way. When picking up
the children for the Mother when she went to an evening meeting, he
purposely didn't arrive at his own home until 25 minutes past the
pickup time, and when he spoke with me his said that I could not drive
the children home. I have never in my life used meth-amphetamine, but
he told the mother that I was using it and he would not allow me to
drive the children home, nor would he drive them home himself, and
because of the time (9:15pm) he would not allow the mother to pick the
children up either. This is not the first time this has happened, and
it will most likely happen again in the future. The mother has gone
to mediation, to which the ex-husband is stoic and uncooperative or
just ignores the court divorce agreement papers at his will. One
time, the mother had the police go over to his house, but they cannot
legally enforce the will of the court documents unless the children
are endangered. In addition, the mother and daughter have been afraid
of the ex-husband's behavior which is manipulative and intimidating.
I have personally helped the mother change her reactions to the
ex-husbands controls he exerts upon her when he manipulates the court
documents like this. The daughter has even had nightmares about her
step-father whom she knows owns at least two handguns. What can the
mother do legally to get her ex-husband to stop screwing with her
schedule? After going to mediation the ex-husband found out that
almost everything he stated in his reasons for going to court were all
based on heresay and conjecture with no real solid base for a legal
entanglement that couldn't be solved through mediation, yet he will
not cooperate at all. I have heard that the mother should get a court
order, but if that was done how would it be done? What about a
restraining order? Or perhaps SHE should take HIM to court. We
document everytime he breaks the court documents and we are beginning
to get a small collection of legal breaks from the court order.
Thanks for any help!
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This was a problem in my divorce, too.
Document all the times the order was violated, and the judge may hold the ex in
contempt of court.
Next time he says you're high, drive directly to a medical lab (don't wait till
morning) and get tested for drugs. Expensive, but proves that he's wrong.
Good luck. My ex caused problems for over two years before some judge finally
found the method that put a stop to it.
===
Freelance Litigation Paralegal -- providing support services to attorneys ONLY
(I do not work directly for the general public:
please have your lawyer contact me)
http://hometown.aol.com/sactoparalegal/
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Thank you very much for your help in this matter! I will prepare a
location and go through with that!
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